Are you serial dating? Have you been caught in the trap of serial dating unknowingly? And what the heck is serial dating anyway? It seems these days there are more questions than answers when it comes to the dating world. The term serial dating did not even exist years ago when most of us first began dating. But today, serial dating is a common phenomena, if not epidemic! (Google serial dating, you’ll get over 20 million results!)

But what IS it? Serial dating describes the act of dating numerous people (sometimes concurrently, but not necessarily) and then quickly moving on to dating someone else (or another “set” of people). Both men and women employ such behavior these days. And while there is nothing wrong with dating multiple people, serial dating is characterized as commitment phobics masquerading as someone who just hasn’t found the “right one” yet. But serial dating is different because the goal is NOT to find the “right one.” What makes serial dating an issue is an inability commit to just one person. Someone caught in serial dating will date you as long as things don’t get serious and will keep you at arm’s length. Sound familiar? You might have dated someone like this without even knowing it. Or maybe you are suddenly realizing you have been serial dating!

Whether you have been caught by someone else’s serial dating habits or realize you have one of your own, there is help. To avoid future serial dating, make your own intentions known early in the relationship. While I don’t suggest rushing into a committed relationship too soon, or planning your wedding on a second date, you should be clear about your ultimate goal in dating. Do you hope to marry? Are you looking for a deep committed long-term relationship, but not worried about being officially married? Make your ultimate goal known to your date (without seeming desperate) and ensure their goals are the same. And be sure their ACTIONS are backing up their words!

If you happen to be serial dating, remember the feelings of your dates. Make your intentions clear as well. Tell your date if you just aren’t ready for a committed relationship. Or simply stop dating until you are ready. Consider your motives for dating. Are you just looking for someone to spend Friday nights with but don’t want to be “inconvenienced” by a relationship? If so, make friends with people so your Friday nights will be booked but take dating out of the picture. Don’t continue to masquerade as a someone looking for THE one if you are just interested in serial dating.