While writing my latest book on dating after 40, I realized that many first dates are doomed before they even start. This is not because the couple is mismatched or there is anything wrong with the individuals themselves. Many times, dates are doomed because the couple chooses the wrong location for the first date. Just as it is true is business, the location can make or break you. To help couples combat this problem, I have created these two lists of the Top 5 BEST places for a first date and the Top 5 WORST places for a first date.

Top 5 BEST First Date Locations

1.     Hotel Lounge: I’m not suggesting by any means that you choose a hotel lounge so that you can take your date upstairs later. That’s a definite no-no! I am suggesting a nice hotel lounge where you can share drinks (i.e., coffee or cocktails), chat in a quiet place, and be in a very public place with people coming and going constantly.

2.     Quiet/Small Café: Going out for coffee is a great first date experience. The problem is that many coffee shops are loud and you end up shouting to your date all night. So pick a place where you can enjoy coffee is a smaller/quieter atmosphere.

3.     Mini-Golf: While this might seem too young or high school-ish to you, mini-golf is a great first date. You and your date will be able to interact with each other and get to know how you both handle activities. You will be distracted by the game and less likely to be nervous and you will learn so much more about your date doing an activity like this rather than just talking.

4.     Ice Cream Parlor: This location lends itself better to summertime first dates, but can be a great spot year round. Grab some ice cream and chat with your date, just try to find a quiet spot or sit outside in nice weather.

5.     Be Active: When picking a first date location, be creative and be active. Consider activities that will distract you from quizzing each other all night allow you both to have fun and see if you are compatible. Hit a rock climbing gym, a batting cage or a go-cart place.

Top 5 WORST First Date Locations

1.    Movies: This might be the traditional date spot or what you have always done on first dates, but the movies is by far the worst place you can take a first date.  In a movie, you are sitting in the dark next to a person you hardly know. You both are focused on the movie but have no interaction with each other. First dates are a time to get to know your date and find out if you are compatible. Steer clear of the movies on first dates. Save this date night for later on in the relationship.

2.    Starbucks or Large Coffee Shops: While getting coffee is a great first date idea, you don’t want to be stuck in a noisy coffee shop and forced to shout at your date all night.

3.    Fine Dining Restaurant: Actually, any restaurant is a bad idea on a first date. Stick to more casual and shorter first dates. IF the date is going well, then you can ask if your date would like to get dinner. Don’t commit to a whole meal before you even get out on the date. If you find out right away that you two aren’t compatible, you’ll be stuck suffering through a whole meal.

4.    Stroll in the Park: While the idea of a stroll in the park is romantic, it does not make a good FIRST date. Parks are not always well populated, which can make this date idea a dangerous one. You also don’t want to get sweaty on a first date so going for a walk, especially in warm weather, could be a messy proposition.

5.    Bar: I don’t advocate meeting potential dates at bars or taking first dates to bars. Bars are too loud and create an atmosphere where drinking too much is just too easy to do. You never want to drink too much on a first date (some even argue you should not drink at all). Instead, you need to concentrate on getting to know your date.